I'm Pretty In Love With Larry David's Daughter And I'm Not Afraid To Admit It

All pics via CazzieDavid IG

I just spent about 30 minutes going through Cazzie’s entire Instagram, on some real stalker shit, and I’ve decided that I’m officially in love with her. She fits almost everything on my girlfriend checklist and we’ve have so much in common.

Hot ? (that’s not really a thing we have in common, it’s more of an attribute she possesses and one I respect)

Loves drinking ?

Goldendoodles ?

Hates Civil War battle ground tours ?

Loves drinking ?

Loves drinking ?

Swimming pools, specifically ones by golf courses ?

Larry David ?

It’s perfect. Honestly, Cazzie (Cassandra? Or is Cazzie like a Jewish thing?) David is pretty much a real life April Ludgate. Which is to say, she’s pretty much a real life perfect person. Disinterested, but sweet. Mean, but funny. Simple, but complicated. Hot without trying too hard. That’s the dream right there, folks. Cazzie David is the dream.

PS – I left out all the pics with the guy I assume is her boyfriend. If I don’t acknowledge him then he doesn’t exist to me.

PPS – How fucking terrifying would it be dating Larry David’s daughter? I think I’d be more nervous dating his daughter than I would be dating like Eminem’s daughter. If you fuck up, worst thing Eminem does is kill you. Larry David would embarrass you in front of a dinner party or something and make fun about things you didn’t even know you were self-conscious about. LD will put you in a living hell.